Protestations Against a Vampire
by idratherbesailing
Summary: In this oneshot, Bella isn't so comfortable with the idea that Edward might be supernatural. She is, however, comfortable enough to voice her opinion.


Hm. I haven't written anything in a long while. It's good to be back.

Before reading, let me explain something: I'm not anti-Twilight. This is not, in any way, supposed to be a bashing submission. I was reading some Twilight groups (most of them were against), and a lot of people complained that Bella was just a little too comfortable with Edward being a vampire. I realized that they were right, and I began to wonder what it would be like if Bella did have a little common sense. Because really, how would you feel if a guy came up to you and said, "Hey, I know we've just met you, but I want to let you know that I'm a vampire. Want to hang out?" With that being said, don't take this to heart. I may have interpreted this incorrectly, but I'm just experimenting. Plus, I really, really wanted to write.

Anyway! Enjoy! Reviews are really cool too.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or Victoria's Secret.

* * *

I knew I should have trusted my instincts.

From the moment I first saw him, I knew there was something fishy about him. His gold eyes that burned holes through my forehead, his pale skin that was incredibly cold to the touch, his really awkward way of speaking; they were all tell-tale signs that there was something different and strange about him.

Being the idiot I am, I dumbly thought, "Hey, what could be so bad? Let's try to be friends with Mr. Emo-looking kid." We sat next to each other in biology. It seemed like the perfect opportunity to make small talk. That led to him only looking angrier and even more moody. After a while, though, he decided to be normal and conversed with me about really random things. The more he talked, the more I started to believe that maybe, there could be something more to our daily routine of quietly fighting over the microscope.

Then he wouldn't stop talking. And now, I have landed myself into one of the weirdest situations I may ever experience.

"You're a vampire?"

Those words echoed throughout the dark, saturnine forest that I was currently standing in. I had never been to the forest, and I was beginning to wonder why I was even here in the first place. Oh, that's right; there was a teenage boy standing across from me who was attempting to pull the ultimate prank. For some reason, I had qualms about whether or not what he had just told me was true or false.

My brown eyes were opened so wide, but there was no way I could blink. I stared at the awkwardly lanky boy as he bit his lip thinking of ways to explain himself.

Finally, he concocted an answer, "Well, yes. But, Bella, please, it's not like you should be freaked out or anything!"

I scoffed, "Hold on, Edward. You think I'm going to stand here calmly as you tell me you're a bloodsucking creature? Are you crazy? Here's a better question; how much money are you being paid to pull this trick on me?"

I initially thought that this prank of his might be a welcoming gift. I used to live in Phoenix, Arizona with my mom. I had just moved to the "oh so wonderful" town known as Forks, Washington a month ago. My dad insisted that I spend some more time with him, and it seemed that the only way I could do so was by moving to the cold northwest.

"This isn't a joke!" He fiercely shook his head. "Bella, try to understand. Yes, I'm a vampire, and that does sound dangerous. But I promise not to hurt you."

"Listen, there are no such things as vampires. And even if there were, why would I hang around one? I may become your dinner!"

Edward seemed truly insulted by my argument. What was I supposed to say? "Oh, Edward, just because you're somewhat hot, I'll forget about the fact that you may murder me one night in my sleep!" My life was in danger. He may want to hug me and then BAM eat my arm off. I was not willing to take that risk.

"Bella, let me say something. At first, I doubted my ability to control myself. You just smell…so delicious to me. I have never been so tempted to drink someone's blood. And I haven't for the past sixty years! There's something about you that attracts me to you. I'm not sure what it is, but I find that I just want to be around you. I promise I won't bite," he confessed and then smirked at me.

Most girls would probably find that monologue cute and sweet. And then they would think that the way his mouth twisted was just adorable.

I, on the other hand, felt the opposite, "Hell no. No, no, no. I smell good? When did Victoria Secret's Slice of Heaven body spray become alluring to sketchy guys? And you've been around for over sixty years? You're a pedophile disguised as an emotionally challenged teenage boy! Look, I'll give you fifty bucks if you leave me alone and forget this ever happened."

I turned my back toward Edward as his smirk quickly turned into a frown. I could tell that he was trying to think of ways to turn around this horribly embarrassing encounter. All of the sudden, he was in front of me.

"Bella, don't walk away!"

I was flabbergasted, "Is that another one of your weird quirks? You run really fast? Wait, I get it! That must be how you get your prey!"

I tried pushing him, but he wouldn't budge a bit. His body felt like a stone, and I was even more freaked out by him.

His golden eyes contained so much pain and his voice added even more turmoil, "Bella, please. I think…I think I might love you. I am not totally sure because I cannot read your mind. You're the only mind I cannot read."

First he runs faster than a cheetah. Then he claims that he's a mind reader. What could be next; he sparkles in the sun?

"You know, I thought that I could attempt to be your friend, but I don' think I can do this," I told him. "You're scaring the crap out of me. Now, I am going to go home and forget this ever happened. There are no such things as vampires. And if you somehow really are one, then I definitely cannot be with you. Sorry."

This time Edward didn't bother to restrain me. I stepped around me and headed back out to the normal world. By the time I was out of the forest, I did feel a little guilty about being so blunt with Edward. He probably needed that, though. Just because he was cute, doesn't mean that he can get every girl he sees. Plus, claiming to be a vampire doesn't help him. At all.

***

I decided against telling my dad about what happened with Edward in the forest last night. My dad would first reprimand me about talking to a boy, and then he would send me to insane asylum. He would also recommend Edward too.

I tried forgetting about the conversation by heading over to my friend Jake's house. He was always supportive of me, and I knew I could go to him for any kinds of advice. I parked my dying, red truck outside of his dilapidated home and quickly jumped out. Before I closed the door, I could see Jake running toward me with his long legs propelling him closer to my truck. We said our hello's, which included a huge bear hug and made our way inside.

Jake tossed me a can of soda which I almost dropped. We sat down on his brown couch silently, neither of us not really knowing what to say. I broke the silence by telling him about my weird experience with Edward. As I told him the punch line (Edward was a vampire), his face scrunched up into an angry expression. I was expecting him to laugh with me, and when he didn't, I grew worried.

"Jake? What's wrong?" I questioned. "You don't honestly believe that there could be vampires. It's just a ridiculous joke. I mean, seriously." The more I tried to console Jake, the more I realized I was really doing it to console myself.

He picked himself up off of the couch and walked toward the window. I could tell something was on his mind. He loudly sighed and turned toward me.

"Bella, I have to tell you something."

Was this déjà-vu?

I nervously chuckled, "What, are you guys vampires in a secret cult? 'Cause that'd be weird; really weird."

"Ew, no. I'm not a vampire," Jake exclaimed. He seemed offended that I would assume such a thing. I sighed as loud as he previously did.

He bit his lip, "Actually, I'm a werewolf, Bells."

I'm moving back to Phoenix. Screw this mythical town of Forks.


End file.
